I really wanted to say something funny and witty, then realized I had nothing to say... except I enjoy shaving, and if you are going to be on the couch, there should be a beer in your hand, and 30 is sexy.

Soooooo.....

There is a problem this morning with new comments posting on the 6/30 archive page. I'm aware of the issue and will work on it this evening after I finish sweeping the Esplanade for hazards with the Boston PD Bomb Squad using the hazmat robot I helped design and build.
Did I mention that my real job is pretty awesome sometimes? ;)

I was trying to figure out what room this was then I realized its a make-believe room.

I didn't think room accuracy would be an issue...

DEAR SIR,

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION; THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND TOP SECRET. THOUGH I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WILL MAKE ANY ONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED,BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY.

WE HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU DUE TO THE URGENCY OF THIS TRANSACTION, AS WE HAVE BEEN RELIABLY INFORMED OF YOUR DISCRETNESS AND ABILITY IN TRANSACTION OF THIS NATURE.

LET ME START BY INTRODUCING MYSELF PROPERLY TO YOU. I AM MR. KONAL OXFORD,CREDIT OFFICER WITH THE UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC,LAGOS. I CAME TO KNOW YOU IN MY PRIVATE SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE THIS CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION,WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

THE PROPOSITION:

A FOREIGNER AN AMERICAN,LATE ENGR JOHN CREEK (SNR) AN OIL MERCHANT WITH T HE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA,UNTIL HIS DEATH IN KENYA AIR BUS (A310-300) FLIGHT KQ430,BANKED WITH US AT UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC LAGOS AND HAD A CLOSING BALANCE AS AT THE END OF JANUARY,2000 WORTH USD25, 000,000.00 (TWENTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLAR),THE BANK NOW EXPECTS A NEXT OF KIN AS BENEFICIARY.VALUABLE EFFORTS ARE BEING MADE BY THE UNION BANK OF NIGERIA TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ANY OF THE CREEK'S FAMILY OR RELATIVES BUT TO NO SUCCESS.

IT IS BECAUSE OF THE PERCEIVED POSSIBILITY OF NOT BEING ABLE TO LOCATE ANY OF LATE ENGR.JOHN CREEK(SNR)'S NEXT OF KIN (HE HAD NO WIFE OR CHILDREN THAT IS KNOWN TO US).THE MANAGEMENT UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF OUR CHAIRMAN AND MEMBERS OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS,THAT ARANGE HAS BEEN MADE FOR THE FUND TO BE DECLEARED "UNCLAINMED" AND SUBSEQUENTLY BE DONATED TO THE TRUST FUND FOR ARMS AND AMMUNITION TO FURTHER ENHANCE THE COURSE OF WAR IN AFRICA AND THE WORLD IN GENERAL.

IN ORDER TO AVERT THIS NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT, SOME OF MY TRUSTED COLLEAGUES AND I NOW SEEK YOUR PERMISSION TO HAVE YOU STAND AS NEXT OF KIN TO LATE ENGR. JOHN CREEK(SNR) SO THAT THE FUND USD25 MILLION WILL BE RELEASED AND PAID INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS THE BENEFICIARY'S NEXT OF KIN. ALL DOCUMENTS AND PROVES TO ENABLE YOU GET THIS FUND WILL BE CAREFULLY WORKED OUT.

WE HAVE SECURE FROM THE PROBATE AN ORDER OF MADAMUS TO LOCATE ANY OF DECEASED BENEFICIARIES,AND MORE SO WE ARE ASSURING YOU THAT THIS BUSINESS IS 100% RISK FREE INVOLVEMENT.YOUR SHARE STAYS WHILE THE REST BE FOR MYSELF AND MY COLLEAGUES FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSE.

ACCORDING TO AGGREMENT WITHIN BOTH PARTIES AS SOON AS WE RECIEVE AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF RECEIPT OF THIS MESSAGE IN ACCEPTANCE OF OUR MUTUAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL,WE WOULD FURNISH YOU WITH THE NECCESSARY MODALITIES AND DISBURSEMENT RATIO TO SUITE BOTH PARTIES WITHOUT ANY CONFLICT.

IF THIS PROPOSAL IS ACCEPTABLE BY YOU DO NOT MAKE UNDUE ADVANTAGE OF THE TRUST WE HAVE BESTOWED IN YOU AND YOUR COMPANY,THEN KINDLY GET TO ME IMMEDIATELY VIA MY EMAIL: konal@ecplaza.net

PLEASE FURNISH ME WITH YOUR MOST CONFIDENTIAL TELEPHONE, FAX NUMBERS SO THAT I CAN USE THIS INFORMATION TO APPLY FOR THE RELEASE AND SUBSEQUENT TRANSFER OF THE FUND IN YOUR FAVOUR.

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR ANTICIPATED CO-ORPORATION.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MR.KONAL OXFORD.

You ruined everything. Forever.

You should put a maximum characters limit on comments ;)

Also, change the timezone. Sheesh.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Just look at your watch. Not a big deal.
-Steve
Sent from my Droid.



;)

I don't have a watch. Well, I do. However, I rarely wear it.

Sent from my balls.

Hey Swarmee... who the eff is Steve, and how did he get your Droid?

Also sent from the Schlubb's balls.